saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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