Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize