I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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