just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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