he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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