so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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