whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
