watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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