Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize