Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
