A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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