apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
