There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
