there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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