This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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