My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He did a backflip because drugs
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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