I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
