i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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