Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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