everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize