He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
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