i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
