We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
