hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
