Where is the hickey?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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