If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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