guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
