Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
