so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
