You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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