Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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