OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
