I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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