They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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