I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
