you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
the liver wants what the liver wants
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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