$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
