New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
