can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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