i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize