So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
