Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
