Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
