I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
