Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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