you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
