covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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