i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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