nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
