Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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