In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
