The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
