his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
