i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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