mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize