Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
