Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
